Play the Hand

Well,

I've switched from Xanga which is all but dead. In case this is the first time anyone ever stumbles upon this blog, an introduction is certainly warranted. I'm a 19 year old college student going to medical school in a very cushy straight med program. Luckily, complacency has never gotten the best of me - I don't think it ever will. For all my meaningful thoughts and deep musings, the reason why I blog is to reach a sort of rationalization of why I live the life I lead. If anything, I'm searching for a little validation, a little vindication and certainly a healthy portion of catharsis. I'm not saying I'm dramatic by any stretch of the imagination. But as a human being cursed with insight and self-awareness, a little blogging is indeed good for the soul.

I go to school in Texas, live in California, raised in Canada, born in China and currently I'm working in New York City. If that flurry of geographical calamity isn't enough, I really like to travel. And, I major in bioengineering. I love my parents, I had a guinea pig and I enjoy the zoo, the aquarium, jamming on my piano while rebelling against the classical composers I was forced to play before I knew which hand was right or left. My writing is very idiosyncratic - more often than not, my writing is wrong grammatically. There isn't any more combination of words that I can put together to best describe who I am. Hopefully, this continual progression of posts will reveal to me as much as it will reveal to you exactly who I am and exactly who I want to be.

The reason for this post is the idea of playing the hand you're dealt. This summer program and New York City for that matter has taught me that lesson both blatantly and subconsciously. Some people are just ungodly gifted. The kids from Harvard certainly belong to be at Harvard. The kid with a 1600 SAT and 42 MCAT score has certainly taking standardized testing to an artform. The 6'8 giant with a 4.0 and school records in swimming makes me feel small in both the literal and figurative sense. Before, I would be woefully self-conscious of my shortcomings when around these people. But, I realize that it isn't what you have that matters as so much as what you're willing to do.

I have never considered myself brilliant. Sure, I'll concede that intelligence is a quality I possess. But, genius? Definitely beyond me. However, if I can't have genius the next best thing is sheer, heated, blind determination. That's something I have to a downright fault. I realized this summer that research isn't my thing. It's been a good run. It certainly has helped me in many of my endeavors. But the protocols, the joy of the results really isn't something that moves me as much as other things. I'd much rather be leading ideas and designs into reality. Being a leader fits my character much more than the dedicated scientist. So the hand I've been dealt doesn't involve the Nobel Prize, but that doesn't mean I have to bluff my way through life. You play to your strengths, you don't complain and you play the game. If you're lucky and do it right, you might just get a second hand.