Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Adversity
Adversity is life. I can't say this past month has been particularly easy. In fact, it has felt like a recidivism that I can't quite shake off. In a way, I'm making the same mistakes over and over again. I'm sensing the same feelings of inadequacy and anxiousness that happened last year. The truth is, perception is the greatest function of success. What makes better memories?
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Post MCAT
The MCATs are over and done. After a week of brutal studying, displeasing dispositions and a general inability to do anything but think about this test, I am done. I am vindicated of this cruel invention of the AAMC and will never again take another MCAT again in my entire life. Amen.
I have some new goals for next year:
1. Improve your vocab.
2. Read more.
3. Be better to parents.
I have some new goals for next year:
1. Improve your vocab.
2. Read more.
3. Be better to parents.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Reflections
Incredibly, my summer in NYC is rapidly coming to an end. The week after the Lake Tahoe conference, arguably one of the best times of my entire life, I've found some time to reflect back upon my experiences thus far.
Lake Tahoe was as eye-opening as it was fun. I got to hear from the Senior VP of R&D for Amgen. This man makes decisions with more profound effect on American health than the Surgeon General. He decides what therapeutics Amgen should invest in. I also got to learn from the former chief of the clinical trials that led to the approval of Taxol (a blockbuster cancer drug). These people showed me how a few dedicated scientists can truly touch the lives of millions if not billions of people. From my trip, I've completely realized that my first love is with science.
The kids I got to meet were equally impressive. Although their projects and their home institutions warrant awe, I was most humbled and inspired by their complete belief to the point of utter dogma that science is the future. What else will best better the human condition than the research we do, the solutions we develop and the technologies we implement? If anything, I've been motivated beyond what I thought was possible to contribute, contribute and contribute.
Most importantly, I've seen a shift on what role I want to take in my career. Medicine was never in question - I will be going to medical school. Initially, I thought I could impact the world with the most dramatic effect with the research I do. Now, I realized I'd much rather hear about your project and your ideas. I'd much rather lead you with the right tools to succeed in your dream.
As much as I want to be an outstanding engineer, researcher or physician, I want to be a leader first. In my high school yearbook, a once good friend of mine who I regrettably do not talk to anymore wrote "Steve, that's what I saw you best as, a leader." Those words have resonated quietly throughout my college career. I try to live up to that. I am who I am. But, a leader is who I want to be.
How do I pair my passion for science and my irresistible desire to lead? I see it in industry or as the director of a major hospital. I couldn't find a job description that fits me more perfectly. At the end of the day, I love the responsibility. I believe wholeheartedly that pioneering science delivers vital medical solutions. I believe medical solutions improve our society at the most basic level. How am I going to fight poverty, overpopulation and political unrest? I will work my hardest to ensure every man, woman and child has the most basic right of good health. To me, good health means more than the freedom to vote, the freedom to assemble or the freedom to speak. For far too long, that right has been taken from far too many citizens of this world.
I come back to Rice fully equipped to take advantage of every resource I've been given. Each class, each day, each protocol in lab will fuel me, drive me and position me to fulfill every one of my lofty ambitions. Even though I greatly respect what Amgen does and more likely than not will be involved with Amgen or a company like her in the future, I still can't see how you put a price on a life. If no one does it before me, I will start the first pharmaceutical/biotech company that is not for profit.
At times, I feel so weird saying that I am a Christian. I hardly ever go to church. I barely peruse the Bible. Whatever the case is, I feel God at odd times of the day. I'm drawn to Him in the ineffable that only faith can instill. He can judge me. But, I've made a promise to God that at the end of my life when I stand before Him I can say with complete conviction and a steady voice that even though I have been a far from perfect, I have given all the talent He has blessed me with to the world He created.
Lake Tahoe was as eye-opening as it was fun. I got to hear from the Senior VP of R&D for Amgen. This man makes decisions with more profound effect on American health than the Surgeon General. He decides what therapeutics Amgen should invest in. I also got to learn from the former chief of the clinical trials that led to the approval of Taxol (a blockbuster cancer drug). These people showed me how a few dedicated scientists can truly touch the lives of millions if not billions of people. From my trip, I've completely realized that my first love is with science.
The kids I got to meet were equally impressive. Although their projects and their home institutions warrant awe, I was most humbled and inspired by their complete belief to the point of utter dogma that science is the future. What else will best better the human condition than the research we do, the solutions we develop and the technologies we implement? If anything, I've been motivated beyond what I thought was possible to contribute, contribute and contribute.
Most importantly, I've seen a shift on what role I want to take in my career. Medicine was never in question - I will be going to medical school. Initially, I thought I could impact the world with the most dramatic effect with the research I do. Now, I realized I'd much rather hear about your project and your ideas. I'd much rather lead you with the right tools to succeed in your dream.
As much as I want to be an outstanding engineer, researcher or physician, I want to be a leader first. In my high school yearbook, a once good friend of mine who I regrettably do not talk to anymore wrote "Steve, that's what I saw you best as, a leader." Those words have resonated quietly throughout my college career. I try to live up to that. I am who I am. But, a leader is who I want to be.
How do I pair my passion for science and my irresistible desire to lead? I see it in industry or as the director of a major hospital. I couldn't find a job description that fits me more perfectly. At the end of the day, I love the responsibility. I believe wholeheartedly that pioneering science delivers vital medical solutions. I believe medical solutions improve our society at the most basic level. How am I going to fight poverty, overpopulation and political unrest? I will work my hardest to ensure every man, woman and child has the most basic right of good health. To me, good health means more than the freedom to vote, the freedom to assemble or the freedom to speak. For far too long, that right has been taken from far too many citizens of this world.
I come back to Rice fully equipped to take advantage of every resource I've been given. Each class, each day, each protocol in lab will fuel me, drive me and position me to fulfill every one of my lofty ambitions. Even though I greatly respect what Amgen does and more likely than not will be involved with Amgen or a company like her in the future, I still can't see how you put a price on a life. If no one does it before me, I will start the first pharmaceutical/biotech company that is not for profit.
At times, I feel so weird saying that I am a Christian. I hardly ever go to church. I barely peruse the Bible. Whatever the case is, I feel God at odd times of the day. I'm drawn to Him in the ineffable that only faith can instill. He can judge me. But, I've made a promise to God that at the end of my life when I stand before Him I can say with complete conviction and a steady voice that even though I have been a far from perfect, I have given all the talent He has blessed me with to the world He created.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Play the Hand
Well,
I've switched from Xanga which is all but dead. In case this is the first time anyone ever stumbles upon this blog, an introduction is certainly warranted. I'm a 19 year old college student going to medical school in a very cushy straight med program. Luckily, complacency has never gotten the best of me - I don't think it ever will. For all my meaningful thoughts and deep musings, the reason why I blog is to reach a sort of rationalization of why I live the life I lead. If anything, I'm searching for a little validation, a little vindication and certainly a healthy portion of catharsis. I'm not saying I'm dramatic by any stretch of the imagination. But as a human being cursed with insight and self-awareness, a little blogging is indeed good for the soul.
I go to school in Texas, live in California, raised in Canada, born in China and currently I'm working in New York City. If that flurry of geographical calamity isn't enough, I really like to travel. And, I major in bioengineering. I love my parents, I had a guinea pig and I enjoy the zoo, the aquarium, jamming on my piano while rebelling against the classical composers I was forced to play before I knew which hand was right or left. My writing is very idiosyncratic - more often than not, my writing is wrong grammatically. There isn't any more combination of words that I can put together to best describe who I am. Hopefully, this continual progression of posts will reveal to me as much as it will reveal to you exactly who I am and exactly who I want to be.
The reason for this post is the idea of playing the hand you're dealt. This summer program and New York City for that matter has taught me that lesson both blatantly and subconsciously. Some people are just ungodly gifted. The kids from Harvard certainly belong to be at Harvard. The kid with a 1600 SAT and 42 MCAT score has certainly taking standardized testing to an artform. The 6'8 giant with a 4.0 and school records in swimming makes me feel small in both the literal and figurative sense. Before, I would be woefully self-conscious of my shortcomings when around these people. But, I realize that it isn't what you have that matters as so much as what you're willing to do.
I have never considered myself brilliant. Sure, I'll concede that intelligence is a quality I possess. But, genius? Definitely beyond me. However, if I can't have genius the next best thing is sheer, heated, blind determination. That's something I have to a downright fault. I realized this summer that research isn't my thing. It's been a good run. It certainly has helped me in many of my endeavors. But the protocols, the joy of the results really isn't something that moves me as much as other things. I'd much rather be leading ideas and designs into reality. Being a leader fits my character much more than the dedicated scientist. So the hand I've been dealt doesn't involve the Nobel Prize, but that doesn't mean I have to bluff my way through life. You play to your strengths, you don't complain and you play the game. If you're lucky and do it right, you might just get a second hand.
I've switched from Xanga which is all but dead. In case this is the first time anyone ever stumbles upon this blog, an introduction is certainly warranted. I'm a 19 year old college student going to medical school in a very cushy straight med program. Luckily, complacency has never gotten the best of me - I don't think it ever will. For all my meaningful thoughts and deep musings, the reason why I blog is to reach a sort of rationalization of why I live the life I lead. If anything, I'm searching for a little validation, a little vindication and certainly a healthy portion of catharsis. I'm not saying I'm dramatic by any stretch of the imagination. But as a human being cursed with insight and self-awareness, a little blogging is indeed good for the soul.
I go to school in Texas, live in California, raised in Canada, born in China and currently I'm working in New York City. If that flurry of geographical calamity isn't enough, I really like to travel. And, I major in bioengineering. I love my parents, I had a guinea pig and I enjoy the zoo, the aquarium, jamming on my piano while rebelling against the classical composers I was forced to play before I knew which hand was right or left. My writing is very idiosyncratic - more often than not, my writing is wrong grammatically. There isn't any more combination of words that I can put together to best describe who I am. Hopefully, this continual progression of posts will reveal to me as much as it will reveal to you exactly who I am and exactly who I want to be.
The reason for this post is the idea of playing the hand you're dealt. This summer program and New York City for that matter has taught me that lesson both blatantly and subconsciously. Some people are just ungodly gifted. The kids from Harvard certainly belong to be at Harvard. The kid with a 1600 SAT and 42 MCAT score has certainly taking standardized testing to an artform. The 6'8 giant with a 4.0 and school records in swimming makes me feel small in both the literal and figurative sense. Before, I would be woefully self-conscious of my shortcomings when around these people. But, I realize that it isn't what you have that matters as so much as what you're willing to do.
I have never considered myself brilliant. Sure, I'll concede that intelligence is a quality I possess. But, genius? Definitely beyond me. However, if I can't have genius the next best thing is sheer, heated, blind determination. That's something I have to a downright fault. I realized this summer that research isn't my thing. It's been a good run. It certainly has helped me in many of my endeavors. But the protocols, the joy of the results really isn't something that moves me as much as other things. I'd much rather be leading ideas and designs into reality. Being a leader fits my character much more than the dedicated scientist. So the hand I've been dealt doesn't involve the Nobel Prize, but that doesn't mean I have to bluff my way through life. You play to your strengths, you don't complain and you play the game. If you're lucky and do it right, you might just get a second hand.
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